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Hey Reader!

For years, I thought personal change mostly happened alone.

You meditate by yourself. You journal. You read books, listen to teachers, learn a new practice or way of seeing yourself, and then try to apply it to your life.

A lot of my own inner work has happened that way, and I still believe in the value of it.

But after spending the last several months leading weekly group sessions, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful it can be to have a shared space where people work through the changes they want to make in their lives.

That shared space becomes a container for transformation: a dedicated time and place to stop thinking about what you want to change and actually practice it.

And that is often what’s missing when we try to change on our own.

Because let’s face it, you can have a tremendous amount of self-awareness. You may already know what you want, who you want to be, and the kind of life you want to lead. You can name the patterns you repeat, what you’ve been avoiding, and the decisions you need to make.

You might even know exactly what you need to do next.

And yet, you still don’t always do it.

Because knowing how you want to live and actually practicing being the person who lives that way are two different things.

• You can know you want more meaningful work and spend another six months trying to figure out exactly what that work should be.
• You can know there is something you want to write, create, or share and keep preparing for the day when you finally feel ready to put it into the world.
• You can know you want to take better care of your body, build a new routine, make a big life decision, or finally finish something you keep restarting. And still keep abandoning that intention when it’s time to take the first step.

That’s one of the conundrums of the human mind: We can have a ton of insight into ourselves and still remain in the same place.

That insight is important.

That’s the gap that keeps all of us hovering around the idea of change, rather than committing to it.

And it’s all too easy to stay in this hover zone.

Because when you consider your current identity, it already has a lifetime of practice behind it. It has familiar ways of being that have all been rehearsed. Things you automatically say yes to, avoid, prioritize, think about, and do every day.

So when you decide you want to leave the career that no longer fits, take your health seriously, build something of your own, or simply live with more freedom, the identity connected to that reality has very little experience expressing itself in your actual life.

At some point, you have to give that identity somewhere to practice and participate.

Give Your Identity Somewhere To Practice

I call these small acts of practice and participation Identity Reps.

It doesn’t need to be big. In fact, it works better when you keep it small.

For example:

• The writer writes one page.
• The creator publishes one piece of work instead of refining it again.
• The person who wants a different career reaches out to people in the field they want to enter—or spends 30 minutes building the project they keep talking about.
• The person taking better care of their body goes for a daily walk or simply returns to the morning routine they keep restarting.

That single rep matters because you’re no longer only thinking about who you want to be.

You’re giving that identity somewhere to behave.

You’ve moved it out of imagination and into your life.

So try this today:

1. Choose one meaningful change you want to make more real in your life.

Don’t build your entire future. Pick something you already know you care about.

2. Ask: Who am I if I were already living this?

• What does that person do differently?
• What do they choose?
• Where would they stop doing what you keep doing now?

Just notice the qualities, choices, or way of showing up that belong to the life you’re sensing.

3. Take one small Identity Rep.

Then ask yourself:

Then do that one rep.

But there’s one more part of this exercise that may be even more revealing…

And it’s what no one ever talks about.

Pay attention to the moment you hesitate.

Because you most certainly will.

And that’s exactly the point.

Because you can have the sincerest intention of taking that small step and still feel yourself pull back when it’s time to do it.

Sound familiar?

• Maybe you open the document to work on the project and suddenly decide you need to research something first.
• You tell yourself you’ll start the new habit Monday.
• You know the decision you need to make, but somehow you need another week to ponder it.

And we interpret this hesitation as a stop sign, as evidence that we’re lazy, inconsistent, confused, or simply not ready.

But that is the exact moment you want to work with.

Because while you may think you’re avoiding the action itself, you’re really avoiding the moment when it becomes real — and what living it might now demand of you.

For example:

• Writing privately is one thing. Publishing means your work has entered the world and people can respond to it.
• Thinking about leaving a career sounds nice. Sending an application, starting the business, or telling someone what you intend to do gives the idea consequences.
• Imagining yourself as someone who finally follows through feels good. Taking the first step means you may have to come back tomorrow and keep going.

This is where the real identity work lives.

Because the Identity Rep is not only practice for your new identity.

It’s also practice in staying with the inevitable resistance that arises when you actually take that rep and try to be that person.

Now you have something real to work with: A concrete action and a moment of resistance.

You’re no longer trying to solve your whole life in your head and figure everything out perfectly before you move.

You’re participating in your life now — while building the capacity to keep going when inevitable discomfort shows up.

✦ The Reclaim Your Life Cohort ✦

So now the question becomes:

That’s exactly why I’ve created a new live space for doing that together.

It’s called: Reclaim Your Life…

It’s a 4-week live cohort where you’ll:

• Choose one meaningful goal, desire, or direction you’re ready to move forward.
• Build the identity behind it.
• Work through the resistance that keeps pulling you back.
• And begin practicing that identity through real-life action alongside a small group of people doing the same work in their own lives.

Over the four weeks, we’ll build your Personal Identity Playbook, take real Identity Reps between sessions, work directly with the moments where you hesitate or pull back, and create a practical plan for continuing after the cohort ends.

This will be the first time I’m offering it, and I’m intentionally keeping the founding cohort small.

Early enrollment opens on Monday.

If this sounds like the kind of work you’ve been needing, you can join the early-access list below and get first access when the doors open.

​Click here to get early access to the Reclaim Your Life Cohort when enrollment opens.​

I'd love to have you be a part of it.

Thanks for reading.

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Anthony V. Lombardo